15)BE FLEXIBLE
Prophet(SAWS) said:** The likeness of the believer is as a stalk of corn which the wind does not cease to blow down; even so trials do not cease to fall upon the believer. The likeness of a hypocrite is as a cypress tree which does not bend or shake unless it is felled.**
There is a great lesson to be learnt from the story of Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, as he told it during a speech he delivered at Stanford University. Jobs started his career in his parent’s garage and proceeded his way up to be, in ten years, the leader of Apple, a $2billion company with thousands of employees. Then, against all odds, the board of directors decided to fire him. I can imagine someone in his place, who got fired from a company that he started, to be devastated, depressed and overwhelmed. This was not the case: Jobs decided to wotk his way up again, to turn his calamity into challenge, into an opportunity for growth and creativity. He started two new companies, NeXT and Pixar, the world’s most successful animation studio which created the famous computer-animated feature film, toy story. It was only a matter of time before Apple bought NeXT and Jobs returned to Apple.
This is a marvelous example of flexibility, a great way to perceive a devastating situation as a lesson and an occasion for growth and progress.
16) REMEMBER DEATH
How is remembering death going to make anyone happier? Well, it will. This is truly not an invitation for depression and grief, nor is it gloomy, bleak advice favoring pessimism and passiveness. It is just a reminder of an absolute fact, a fact that we all tend to forget while immersed in this transient, falsely embellished world. We all are one breath away from death. We usually do not remember that and we do not like to be reminded, either. Nevertheless, it is an inescapable fact. Allah(swt) says:
قُلۡ إِنَّ ٱلۡمَوۡتَ ٱلَّذِى تَفِرُّونَ مِنۡهُ فَإِنَّهُ ۥ مُلَـٰقِيڪُمۡۖ ثُمَّ تُرَدُّونَ إِلَىٰ عَـٰلِمِ ٱلۡغَيۡبِ وَٱلشَّهَـٰدَةِ فَيُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمۡ تَعۡمَلُونَ (٨)
Say (unto them, O Muhammad): Lo! the death from which ye shrink will surely meet you, and afterward ye will be returned unto the Knower of the Invisible and the Visible, and He will tell you what ye used to do.
-Surah Jumuah 62:8
Ghazali the elder divided people into three classes:
a) *Those who are addicted to the world
b) *Those who are repentant and
*Those who are surrendered to Allah.
The people who are addicted to the world do not remember death, and do not like to. Those who are repentant, on the other hand, remember death and fear it. They do not like death, as they fear that they will die before they repent from their sins and purify their souls from corrupt deeds. He is just not prepared for death. The third type of people are those who are dedicated to Allah. The ones who always remember death because they would like to meet with the Beloved. Such a person is waiting to live in the neighborhood of Allah. Remembering death keeps them unattached to false worldly desires and urges them to work and perform good deeds in order to prepare for the next eternal world. That is how remembering death helps you in your journey towards detachment.
Prophet(saws) said: ** Remember death often, the terminator of pleasures.**
** Ibn ‘Umar said: "I, along with ten other companions, was near the Messenger of Allah(saws). Then a man from the Ansar asked him, ‘O Prophet of Allah! Who are the wisest and most honored of people?’ the Prophet(saws) answered, ‘Those who remember death most and prepare most for it. They pass away with honor in this world and the next.’”**
Remembering death is not about denying the joy of living. On the contrary, it is about enjoying the freedom of flowing with life, knowing that it is a temporary residence.
** Ibn ‘Umar related that the Prophet(saws) took hold of his shoulders and said: “Be in the world as if you are a stranger or a traveler.” **
** Ibn ‘Umar used to say: “When you arrive at the evening do not expect to see the morning and when you arrive at the morning do not expect to see the evening. During health, prepare for illness and while you are alive prepare for death.”**
17) BE CONTENT AND SATISFIED
Trying to get every single factor in your life under your control is futile, as life constantly challenges us with new tests.
Allah says in the Qur’an:
أَحَسِبَ ٱلنَّاسُ أَن يُتۡرَكُوٓاْ أَن يَقُولُوٓاْ ءَامَنَّا وَهُمۡ لَا يُفۡتَنُونَ
Do men imagine that they will be left (at ease) because they say, We believe, and will not be tested with affliction?
-Surah Ankaboot 29:2
That is the law of existence and it is in your own interest to surrender to it. Appreciate your divine blessings, focus on your gifts and blessings, adapt your needs to your earnings possessions, and stop questioning the Divine arrangement of your life. Prophet Muhammad (saws) said: ** Do not impeach Allah about something He pre-ordained for you.**
You have to look within your heart to find inner peace and contentment. Prophet Muhammad(saws) said: ** If one wakes up in the morning in the full security of his heart and his body free from harm, and having a day’s provision, then it is as if the world, all of it, is driven to him.**
We should look at afflictions as merely a test for our patience, acceptance and faith; they rid us of sins, strengthen our resolve and purify our souls.
Prophet(saws) said:** The bigger the test is, the greater will be the reward for it. When Allah loves people, He tests them. If they accept the affliction cheerfully, then they will achieve contentment or Allah’s pleasure; and those who become enraged(or evade the affliction) will only reap Allah’s rage.**
A wise man once said: “On the first day that a calamity strikes, the wise person behaves just like the ignorant person behaves days later.”
18)BE PATIENT AND STEADFAST
We are faced with lessons in patience every day of our lives. Spiritual enlightenment and contentment are hard tasks and long-term goals that are difficult to achieve. Since this is not an easy journey, patience is required at each step along the way. Patience is the driving power that will keep you going.
**Suhayb reported that the Prophet(saws) said: “The believer’s affair is amazing: it is all for good, and that is not the case of anyone other than a believer. If good times come to him, he is thankful and thus it is good for him, and if bad times befall him, he is patient, and thus it is also good for him.”**
‘Umar ibn al Khattab once wrote to Abu moosa Ash’ari saying: “Observe patience. Know that patience is of two kinds; one is better than the other. It is good to have patience in disasters, but it is even better to keep yourself away from unlawful things. And know that patience is the gist of faith and this is because the fear of Allah is the best religious act and this is gained by patience.”
According to Ghazali the elder, there are three kinds of patience:
1) Patience over things that we cannot control, like accidents and natural disasters, physical pain and diseases. The practice of this type of patience leads to the contentment of the soul.
2) Patience at the inclination of evil and this includes self-control, forbearance by containing one’s anger and the acceptance of one’s situation.
3) Patience in experiencing pleasure and happiness. When people feel very comfortable enjoying physical health, safety, property, wealth and the admiration of others; they can throw themselves into these worldly comforts and possessions without control and fail to remember either the source of their blessings or the ultimate purpose of their creation.
19) TIME FOR YOURSELF
When you get overwhelmed by too many things to do, when you are running out of time and your energy seems to be leaking out of me, remember “the mayonnaise jar and the coffee.”
“A professor stood before his Philosophy class and picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and then poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous, ‘Yes!’ The professor then poured the content of two cups of coffee into the jar; this effectively filled up the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life, the golf balls are the important things- God, family, your children, you health and your close friends and relatives- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be worthwhile. The pebbles are the other things that matter like you job, your house and your car; the sand is everything else- the small stuff.’
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there will be no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life: if you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness: say your prayers, play with your children, and take time to get medical check-ups, take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled, ‘I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you than no matter how full your life may seem, there is always room for a cup of coffee with a friend.’ "
** It was reported that Salman once said to Abu Darda’: “Allah has a right over you, your own self has a right over you and your partner has a right over you; so give everyone his due right.” When the Prophet(SAW) was informed of what he had said, he replied, “Salman has spoken the truth.” **
20) SEEK ALLAH’S FORGIVENESS
Seeking Allah’s forgiveness brings happiness, peace of mind and well-being, Allah(SWT) says in His Book:
وَأَنِ ٱسۡتَغۡفِرُواْ رَبَّكُمۡ ثُمَّ تُوبُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهِ يُمَتِّعۡكُم مَّتَـٰعًا حَسَنًا إِلَىٰٓ أَجَلٍ۬ مُّسَمًّ۬ى وَيُؤۡتِ كُلَّ ذِى فَضۡلٍ۬ فَضۡلَهُ
And (bidding you): Ask pardon of your Lord and turn to Him repentant. He will cause you to enjoy a fair estate until a time appointed. He giveth His bounty unto every bountiful one.
- Surah Hud 11:3
** Prophet (SAW) said: By Allah, I seek Allah’s forgiveness and repent to Him (saying, “Astaghfir Allah wa atoobu ilayhi) more than seventy times each day **
A man once came to Imam Hassan Basri, complaining that the amount of rainfall was insufficient; the Imam told him, “Ask Allah’s forgiveness.” Another man came complaining from poverty; the Imam said once again, “Ask Allah’s forgiveness.” A third man complained to the Imam of infertility; the advice was the same, “Ask Allah’s forgiveness.” Eventually, a fourth man came to complain that his garden did not yield fine produce, and for the fourth time the Imam suggested, “Ask Allah’s forgiveness.” A amn who had been sitting next to the Imam asked in surprise, “O Imam, how can you prescribe the same solution for these four different cases?” The Imam replied, “I remembered the verse in Allah’s Book that says:
فَقُلۡتُ ٱسۡتَغۡفِرُواْ رَبَّكُمۡ إِنَّهُ ۥ كَانَ غَفَّارً۬ا (١٠) يُرۡسِلِ ٱلسَّمَآءَ عَلَيۡكُم مِّدۡرَارً۬ا (١١) وَيُمۡدِدۡكُم بِأَمۡوَٲلٍ۬ وَبَنِينَ وَيَجۡعَل لَّكُمۡ جَنَّـٰتٍ۬ وَيَجۡعَل لَّكُمۡ أَنۡہَـٰرً۬ا (١٢)
And I have said: Seek pardon of your Lord. Lo! He was ever Forgiving. (10) He will let loose the sky for you in plenteous rain, (11) And will help you with wealth and sons, and will assign unto you Gardens and will assign unto you rivers. (12)
- Surah Nuh 71:10-12
Repentance is a higherstep in seeking Allah’s forgiveness. It is a return to Allah after committing a sin; it is a beginning of a new life, a new hope. Accordind to Ghazali, repentance is the key that guides us to the Straight Path and it is the instrument that will purify our souls, to bring us closer to Allah.